New location

Hey folks,
I finally got around to getting a music account! There are three songs available for download; one of them having been just recently finished. I like the name "drasticontrast", so that's gonna be the name for the band (there's no band; it's just me. I needed to make a name, though). Anyhoo, check it out here. As soon as I remember how to edit HTML, I'll put it on the right panel, too. Please pray for this, if you will; I'd love for it to be a blessing to people. I'd also love to do it full-time someday.
atode

The First of Many, Part I

Hey Folks,
I was writing an email to a friend in Augusta, and the things I was writing started to sound like they belonged on a blog. I continued to write, then copy and paste to this site, when the power in our apartment went out. I'm losing my belief in coincidences these days, so I'm convinced that satan doesn't want these things published. I am therefore, trying to restore my thoughts and rewrite what was lost. I apologize if the words don't come to me as effectively as they did the first time. This ended up being very long, so I split it into 3 parts.

This is a confession. This is my heart. This is a prayer request. This is who I am right now.

I'm up and I'm down. For example,
I was not overwhelmed when my junior high school here called my boss and complained that I was going home early, when my contract clearly states that I am to recieve no more than 30 hours of work per week, not even when the company called me and told me I would have to stay until 5:00 every day regardless of my contract, because, basically, they didn't want to offend the school. I prayed to God for deliverance from the abuse of my employer when I had things to do at home, like take care of my family and, Lord willing, record. I asked others to pray for me as well, hopeful of God's provision and mercy.

Then, this week, when I was about to record, the computer shut down, and I freaked out. I tried to restart it, but not a single light would come on. I was certain that God had pulled a Job on me, and that I would spend the rest of my days doing jobs that I hate; never seeing my musical labor come to fruition. I went into the bedroom furious, frustrated, and bound for depression. Unbeknownst to me, my wife and her sister went into the kitchen to pray. A little while later, I returned to the music room, determined to restart the project from scratch, with the full intention of buying a new computer (minimum $1500). As a one-last-try, I decided to replace the battery in the computer...and it came on.

Instantly, I felt humbled, relieved, embarrassed, and, honestly, aggravated. As I saw my 90 degree gradient lack of faith, I wondered if I would ever be capable of passing God's tests with any amount of frequency. How could I believe that He would deliver me from one thing and not another? Recently, I've been reminded of Elijah, and how, after demonstrating the power of God so miraculously and having the prophets of Baal slaughtered, he ran for his life at the threats of Jezebel. I used to wonder, "how stupid do you have to be to drop God at the threat of one woman after defeating hundreds by His power alone?" I now have the answer.

Even today, the power failure made me furious; like God couldn't restore to my mind the things I had written before if they were important enough to post.

The First of Many, Part II

I want so desperately for this music to come from the right spirit in many ways. First, I want the songs themselves to come from the Spirit as much as possible. Any time music or lyrics come faster than normal, I am now inclined to give credit to the Spirit of God for inspiration. As an example, the song that I'm recording now came in two days while I was fasting. I was not fasting to recieve a song, but God gave me a song just the same. The most recent composition contains lyrics that I am convinced were "put" in my head. I may find time to elaborate on this particular occurence in a future installment.

Secondly, I want these songs to reflect my life, or to at least be a prayer to live in the same way. My countenance becomes so dark so quickly, that there may be more occasions than not that I lack that desire, let alone the capability. Many times I just want to shout and throw something or destroy something; that is from the devil, and it is a place to which I have found a very short route. Often, I see myself in the mirror, and I understand why people do and want to turn away and immediately forget what they look like; who wants to see that filth! I am also finding shorter and shorter lengths of time to be the battle grounds, with more and more defense and preparation required to overcome them or pass through unscathed. Even a fantastic quiet time in one day cannot be the single climactic event for my spirit in order to be successful in battle for the 24 hours. The more I look, the more I see where satan is trying to attack, and it's, frankly, fearful and overwhelming.

This segues well into my third point; I want every aspect of the recording to be of the Spirit. I am not fully there yet, but I am coming to the conclusion that the spirit of a performance, not just the technical and tonal aspects of it, can be captured in a recording. To that end, I want to preface every recording session with time spent with God in His Word. Coming to the throne before coming to the studio promotes an awareness of the real purpose of the recording; to glorify God. I do think that God blesses a recording when it's done with the right attitude, but even more that the listener, perhaps unconsciously, is assisted to that sweet place of worship when every track, every "bit" is recorded in Spirit and truth. That means that if I've had a fight with my wife, then I need to get right with her before I start recording. If I've unconfessed sin, then that's going to hinder the music from reaching its apex.

The First of Many, Part III

It is this final point that I want to emphasize. There are these fine details of the music that should belong to God, but we're not going to hear them come through when the whole system that births them is defunct. I think Christian music has turned as cold as the secular recording companies that parent it. I think it's nothing more than a money-making scheme for a lot of people, and, for those for whom it is a serious ministry, it's a mine-field of temptation and diminished returns. Did you know that every church that uses any contemporary worship music must pay a minimum of $100 to an organization called the CCLI? If we don't pay money to these "temple merchants", they will sue the church for violation of copyright.

Although not started for entirely the right reasons, the Reformation freed us who are Protestant from a corrupt regime and authority structure. It may very well have been possible to reform the Catholic church from within, but I really doubt it. I have recently begun to feel the same way about Christian music. It is managed under a corrupt and unredeemable structure. We have modeled our businesses after the world, and the world's mark on Christian music is unmistakeable; what a huge mistake! The heart of Christian music is corrupt; with the goal of making money trumping the worship of the Lord.

But, the good news is, we don't have to do it their way. There are General Public Licenses available for music, with no restrictions on performance, arrangement, or copying (only on credit for the composition); we can compose music that is free for all to sing and play! Home studios, with the right equipment and technical know-how, can produce competitive-quality CDs. We have an awesome distribution system called the internet; anyone in the world with a connection can share in the joy of worship with those who freely give it.

The catch is, we cannot use their music; it must be our own. It is illegal to copy or distribute their stuff without their permission, and they won't give it if they don't make any money. It is illegal to make a CD of Christian music for your unsaved friends to use as a witnessing tool. You can't even translate a copyrighted song without explicit permission from the copyright holder. No, it will be the people without recording contracts that bless others with their original music and worship, and, Lord willing, it will be that music that God uses to honor Himself all over the world.

If we put the glory of God before all things, including our own financial security, how much more will God honor our offering and take care of us? Are not the storehouses of heaven infinitely greater than our own? Let us offer our worship to those who cannot afford to pay, and provide the means to be payed if someone wishes to support our ministry. The musician has recieved a gift from the Lord and a privilege to assist in worship. Freely you have recieved; freely give.